The other night I woke up in the middle of the night with Simon & Garfunkel’s ‘Bridge over Troubled Water’ in my head. When I was a teenager, I adored this song and played it on repeat. It is such a beautiful piece of music; the lyrics are divine and touched me deeply every time I played it. And there it was again, at 3am in the morning the other night, when I really needed to hear the message of the song; When you’re weary, feeling small, when tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all, I’m on your side… I felt touched and looked after. It felt like a message from my Soul!
As exciting as I feel life is and usually turns out to be, I do get struck by life’s surprising twists of fate, as we all do. The last few weeks have been like that for me. Even though I am really ok, this twist of fate dimmed my light and otherwise quite exuberant joy. I felt impacted on.
Devi Living is all about living on the planet in Love, With Purpose and in Joy. Most of the time I do feel I am living that life. When I feel out of alignment with it, I know and trust that I will come back to it. I know I want to live from those high and beautiful energies more than anything else! But what to do when it does not feel authentic to jump up and down with joy or feel love for others?
David R. Hawkins, who wrote the super interesting book ‘Power vs Force’, measures levels of consciousness brought about by thoughts, feelings, emotions etc. The higher the calibration, the more the person is thriving and wanting others to thrive as well.
Enlightenment measures highest on the list and calibrates at the level of 700 – 1000, followed by Peace at 600 and Joy and Love at around 500. When consciousness levels go below 200 though, the person is operating from survival-based emotions like Fear, Anger and Pride for example. This makes us more concerned with self and immediate family (tribe) and we are no longer so interested in everyone else’s happiness.
It follows then that if we change the way we think and feel, we impact our levels of consciousness. Easier said than done! Especially when like right now, I am a bit out of touch with the Love and the Joy. According to Hawkins, Willingness calibrates at 300 and takes us out of a lower vibration– so, if at least I have the willingness to come back to Love and Joy, my frequency is immediately raised!
I have experienced crazy doses of difficulties in my life- deep despair, terrifying grief, painful loneliness, abandonment, massive misunderstandings that have led to detrimental outcomes. I feel like I have cried more tears than your average person.
Even so, I think I have what is called a ‘Sunny disposition’. I tend to feel cheery and positive about life, even when the going gets tough. I might go to bed feeling down or worried about something but come morning, I am like a happy child, ready to play and even surprising myself with this unbound joy that wells up in me. Life always seemed and still does feel, so exciting to me.
It was not until a friend, suffering from depression, said to me – You are so lucky. You are so lucky to not be so affected by what happens to you.
Since that day I do not take that happiness for granted. Some people struggle more than others – even if what they struggle with might not be worse than what I have encountered. There are so many factors that influence us in how we experience life and the difficulties that come with it – fewer serotonin receptors, how we were loved as kids, ancestral trauma, drug use, impactful events, our astrology, past lives, blessings or curses from fairy godmothers or our own take on life – take your pick. I bow with deep respect and compassion to those who struggle and who are unable to find solutions to their suffering.
Yes, I am lucky – but I am not immune to suffering and my life is not always a dance in the park. In a previous blog, Nothing to Lose, it’s Yours, I talked about an experience that sucked all joy out of my life. I was devastated by a family event. On top of the grief from what had happened, I panicked when thinking that I would have no joy left in me to go on with my life. A life without joy. To me, a death sentence.
I remember where I stood when this terrifying realisation hit me. I was leaning down on the kitchen bench, ready to disappear into a black abyss, forever. Suddenly something in me bolted. I got a strong message – If I had no joy left in my life it would be because I allowed an event to rob me of it. There and then I knew my joy belongs to me, always and forever! It is mine. I stood up straight and reclaimed it and goodness, did it ever make a difference!
It was powerful and so simple I almost missed it. I get that some are not so lucky, and they do indeed, miss it. (For the purpose of this blog post, I am not covering all the instances or factors where reclaiming one’s joy is not the simple answer to all one’s problems.)
So, these last weeks took me temporarily out of the zone that I love living from. Licking one’s wounds and wallowing in self-pity can feel very nurturing for a while and even necessary. The question is, for how long? I know where I want to be and after a while, the wallowing feels distractive! Here are some of the things I do to lift myself out of those lower but completely understandable vibrations. If you have your own nurturing self-care tools, please share them in the Comments below.
I remind myself I am always connected to Spirit
I say out loud my willingness to come back to Love and Joy
I ask for big Bear hugs from good huggers
I soak in baths and imagine I lie in my Mama’s womb
I chant Ohm loud while lying in the hot bathwater
I sit by the magnificent ocean or river and feel grateful
I sing really loud in the car and let my voice go where it wants
I write pages of uncensored free flow writing
I dig my hands in the earth
I have an Art Therapy session with my brilliant friend Tana
I open myself to be surprised by new insights and perspectives
I engage more with my senses to bring myself out of negative thoughts
I show up for myself and listen to what I need in the moment
Sometimes I just need to wait it out. Some things cannot be forced…I try to cook beautiful, simple foods, I pick a few flowers for my bedside table, get inspiration from Pinterest, sleep more, talk less, make a sketch of the Lavender in the garden, or clean out the wardrobe. Sometimes I imagine I am on a spiritual quest deep down in the Underworld and will come back up with some newfound gems. And I always do.
And just as Garfunkel sings in ‘Like a Bridge over Trouble Water’, everything suddenly lights up – Sail on silver girl, sail on by, your time has come to shine, all your dreams are on their way, see how they shine!
If you are experiencing difficult issues in life, I hope some of the above can help you go through it. If nothing seems to work, ask for help and please, go and see someone who is trained to give the right type of support you need. You are worth it.
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2 thoughts on “Bridge over Troubled Water”
Beautiful, Eva! As for my dark-feeling moments, I also ask for long hugs from my husband. He can feel like my stability on emotional days and though that scares me to feel my dependency on this, I can remember how those hugs mean that I am loved. And this is eternal even when the hugger is not present. I also remember what I have learned from our teacher, Shirzad Chamine, that these darker emotions that feel for me like they come out of nowhere, are default moods I fall into. Becoming present in my body and moving out of the judging mind lets me lift this mood’s veils of doom that feels like it has come from an ancient, primitive time and is rooted so deeply in my cells that no logic can bring an understanding of it. Becoming present, maybe by rubbing your finger tips together or really noticing the breath raise and lower your belly, is like changing the rhythm in me to a much lighter one. Perhaps that’s why there are music healers?
Thanks Jody! Yes the long, warm hugs from a loved one does wonders…so good to feel loved.